Real Help for the Modern Family: How to enjoy a great marriage

My message notes from April 15, 2012

Real Help for the Modern Family Part 2:  How to enjoy a great marriage

Intro:  We are spending six weeks to offer real help for families

We are on a quest to recover healthy families!

Goal = Recovery of Healthy Family!

We can’t do this on our own…

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Many people are seeking a healthy marriage and family

-Jeff Foxworthy "I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."

-Amy Winehouse "I know I'm talented, but I wasn't put here to sing. I was put here to be a wife and a mom and look after my family. I love what I do, but it's not where it begins and ends."

    -She wanted to have a great marriage and family, but didn't know how
-Wanting real help for our families and actually seeking and embracing real help are two different things!

How to enjoy a great marriage  Genesis 2:18-25

What are the Enemies of Marriage (diagnosis of dysfunction)
-Genesis 3:6
-1 John 2:15-17

1.  Wandering Feelings

-I want to feed my flesh, enjoy the fruit of what I'm not supposed to have

 -If it feels good, do it!

2.  Wandering Eyes

 -I keep looking at what I can't have, longing for it, thinking about it

 -I take my focus off of what I already have

3.  Prideful Heart

 -I'm unwilling to admit I'm wrong, and uninterested in confessing my weaknesses to others

 -I think I know better than God

How to enjoy a great marriage:  Genesis 2:18-25

Treat my spouse as my…

1.  Companion

-“it is not good for man to be alone

-what is a best friend?  Do those things!

2.  Helper

-complimentary roles, a team, mutually beneficial

Treat my spouse as my…

3.  Equal  “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!”

-taken from his side, not his foot!  

-we walk alongside one another

-man and woman are both made in the image of God!

4.  Only

-we leave our family to form a new family unit

-bond:  cement, glue, each becomes part of the other

-my spouse is my exclusive partner in life for enjoyment

-fidelity is paramount to true happiness, peace and joy

5.  Confidant- the one I share all my secrets with

-physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually

Practical exercise:  “We”   vs.    “I”

Think about everything you do…

-is this activity something “We” have agreed on or “I” just want to do?

-is what I am about to do something my spouse is ok with?

Calendar- How I spend my time, where I go, what I do

Money- Do I swipe my card, spend my cash and make my deals with my spouse in mind?

Social Media- who do I connect with?  Does my spouse know everywhere I go online?

Remember:  We can’t do this on our own!

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

How to enjoy a great marriage

My next right steps…

1.  Practice Genesis 2:18-25

-Marriage 101 starting two weeks from tonight

2.  Practice “We”

3.  Trust Jesus

-Matthew 28:17  “some” didn’t  believe the resurrection

                            Even after they saw Jesus physically!

-You know Jesus makes a difference…will you trust in Him now?

Real Help for the Modern Family: Where to Begin

My message notes from Easter Sunday 2012...

Real Help for the Modern Family Part 1

The Beginning of Real Help

Intro:  Today begins a new series about family

-many family structures today:  traditional, single parents, divorced, his/hers/ours, grandparents raising grandkids, not married/no children, adult children caring for aging parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, and many other configurations

-modern and ancient families face the same challenges

-This series is about timeless principles for every type of family

Upcoming topics:

 April 15          Marriage

 April 22          Raising Kids

 April 29          Launching Kids/Empty Nest

 May 6             Dads

 May 13           Moms

 May 20           Grandparents/Adult Children

I visited Fort Recovery a few weeks ago…

-built after General Anthony Wayne recovered land and property that was tragically lost when General Sinclair was crushed by British and Indians. 

-I thought of all the forces that are waging war against the family

My Goal for this series=Recovery of Healthy Family!

The Beginning Of Real Help for the Modern Family

Mark 16:1-7

Is there an Empty Tomb or do we have an Empty Faith?

-1 Corinthians 15:17, 19

-If Jesus is alive, there is great hope, and our faith is rooted in truth

-If Jesus is still dead, we have no hope, and we might as well give up!

Real Help Right Now- Mark 16:1-7

1.  Start asking the right questions

-they were worried about moving the stone that was moved

-stop focusing on what you can’t answer, what may not matter

2.  Keep moving towards Jesus

-they kept going, found an empty tomb, eventually Jesus appeared!

-You may not know what it means to trust Jesus fully…

    Keep taking your next right step towards Jesus

3.  Believe in the impossible

-If Jesus can come back to life, He can help your family right now!

To be a healthy family we don’t have to…

-Know it all

-Be perfect

-Be strong enough

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is available now!

-Ephesians 2:4-10

But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By grace you are saved!

He also raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavens, in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace in [His] kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift- not from works, so that no one can boast.

For we are His creation-created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

The Beginning Of Real Help for the Modern Family

My next right step…

1.  Start asking the right questions-  keep coming to worship, seeking God's answers!

-we will discover principles for healthy family relationships

2.  Keep moving towards Jesus-  keep praying!

-we will learn what it means to really depend on Jesus and His church

3.  Believe in the impossible-  trust Jesus!

-we will seek to bring hope and healing

-I desire for us to move beyond the past and embrace a preferred future

    Under the power and influence of Jesus Christ

Will you trust Jesus today? 

John Wesley's 22 Questions

John Wesley, over 200 years ago, created the following questions to help believers become more spiritually accountable.  Our circumstances may have changed, but human nature has not.  These are still practical and relevant for any individual or group interested in growing spiritually.  

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate?
3. Do I confidentially pass on to another what was told to me in confidence?
4. Can I be trusted?
5. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?
6. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
7. Did the Bible live in me today?
8. Do I give it time to speak to me everyday?
9. Am I enjoying prayer?
10. When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?
11. Do I pray about the money I spend?
12. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
13. Do I disobey God in anything?
14. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
15. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
16. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy, or distrustful?
17. How do I spend my spare time?
18. Am I proud?
19. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
20. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
21. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
22. Is Christ real to me?