Launcing Kids and Reshaping the Nest

My message notes from April 29, 2012

Real Help for the Modern Family:

Launch Our Kids and ReshapeThe Nest

Psalm 127; Mark 10:6-9

Intro

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Remember from Last Week…

Parenting = the process of training our child to leave!

-Genesis 2:24  “That is why a man LEAVES his father and mother…”

-Proverbs 22:6  “Teach a youth about the way he should GO; even

    when he is old he will not depart from it.”

-We raise our kids to go and establish their own families

-They will most likely duplicate the home they came from!

Launch them!  (don’t just let them leave)

Psalm 127

1.  Depend on God  vs. 1-2

2.  Receive kids as gifts vs. 3

3.  Release them for a mission  vs. 4-5

Parenting = leading our child to  find and follow Jesus Christ, 

                    so they will lead their children to find and follow Christ!

1 John 5:12  The one who has the Son has life. The one who doesn't have the Son of God does not have life.

Deuteronomy 6:5  Love the Lord your God with all our heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength

-We must launch them towards Jesus Christ

-His will is more important than “our will” for our kids

-True success is when our grandchildren find and follow Jesus!

Launching Kids requires a shift in our role

-From Authority to Advisor

-From hands on, to hands off

After we launch our kids, we must…

Reshape the Nest

Remember the original plan…

-Mark 10:6-9 is a lifelong plan

      Goals for our marriage as we reshape the nest:

            -Enjoyment

            -Example for our kids

Welcome Jerry & Becky Jones (interview)

Remember…

I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

                                                Philippians 4:13

Conclusion

What is my next right step?

-Where are you right now? 

    Pre-launch, Post-Launch

    Full nest, empty nest

    Starter nest, long gone nest

-How must I surrender to God?

-Who must I turn to for help?

    -Connection Group, other godly friends

Real Help for the Modern Family: How to raise great kids

My message from April 22, 2012

Real Help for the Modern Family:  How to Raise Great Kids

Intro

Real help starts with God! 

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

We also need help from each other!

-like Lincoln Hall needed after reaching the summit of Mount Everest.  He went crazy due to lack of oxygen.  His sherpas left him because they didn't think he was alive.  Then along came Dan Mazur, who was leading a high paying group to the summit.  He had to make a choice-- continue on or abandon his quest for the summit to save Lincoln's life?

-Dan Mazur chose the greater goal of saving Lincoln’s life

-Sadly, months earlier, over 40 climbers passed by David Sharp as he lay dying.  He did not survive.

    -However, David made several critical mistakes that led to his death—  the “could have been” rescuers

        may not have been able to save him

-Notice then:  We must help unhealthy families!  (Rescue them) 

                         -we must make personal sacrifices to save dying families around us

                      Healthy families need to do the right things to stay safe

                         -we must seek help, prepare for future dangers, do the next right thing

That is the reason for this series….“Real Help for the Modern Family”

Today: How to raise great kids
Genesis 2:24;   Deuteronomy 6:5-10;  Proverbs 22:6

What is a parent supposed to do?

1.  Parenting = the process of training our child to leave!

Genesis 2:24  “That is why a man LEAVES his father and mother…”

Proverbs 22:6  “Teach a youth about the way he should GO; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

-We must raise our kids, send them out, so they can raise their kids

-Raise Great Kids = Future Great Home!

2.  Parenting = leading our child to  find and follow Jesus Christ

1 John 5:12  The one who has the Son has life. The one who doesn’t have the Son of God does not have life.

Deuteronomy 6:5  Love the Lord your God with all our heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength

How to raise great kids

Deuteronomy 6:6-10

1.  Demonstrate-  live it out, show them how to live for Jesus

2.  Teach- explain, break it down, age appropriate learning

3.  Practice- every moment is a teachable moment!

       -in the car, at the meal table, enjoying entertainment, chore time

Proverbs 22:6

4.  Expect!  

-we get what we aim for, we rarely get more than we aim for

-“the way”  each child has a particular

7 Tips from Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours by Dr. Kevin Leman

-Healthy Authority

-Accountability

-Reality is the Teacher- let my child fail!  (Great teacher!)

-Actions more than Words- follow through, no empty threats

-Keep Going (persevere, modify if needed (only God is perfect!)

-Relationship before Rules (unconditional love)

-Walk my Talk (you can’t lead where you won’t follow)

Remember, we are trusting God to help us do this!

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

How to raise great kids

What is my next right step?

Follow Jesus personally 

Dedicate your kids to Jesus

 -lead them to find and follow Jesus 

Reach out to each other!  

     Who have you encouraged lately?

     Who are the encouraging people you are surrounding your life with?

Get help AS YOU do then next right thing!

-attend worship, join a Connection Group, start serving people somewhere
-turn from wrong behavior and start doing what is right

Real Help for the Modern Family: How to enjoy a great marriage

My message notes from April 15, 2012

Real Help for the Modern Family Part 2:  How to enjoy a great marriage

Intro:  We are spending six weeks to offer real help for families

We are on a quest to recover healthy families!

Goal = Recovery of Healthy Family!

We can’t do this on our own…

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Many people are seeking a healthy marriage and family

-Jeff Foxworthy "I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."

-Amy Winehouse "I know I'm talented, but I wasn't put here to sing. I was put here to be a wife and a mom and look after my family. I love what I do, but it's not where it begins and ends."

    -She wanted to have a great marriage and family, but didn't know how
-Wanting real help for our families and actually seeking and embracing real help are two different things!

How to enjoy a great marriage  Genesis 2:18-25

What are the Enemies of Marriage (diagnosis of dysfunction)
-Genesis 3:6
-1 John 2:15-17

1.  Wandering Feelings

-I want to feed my flesh, enjoy the fruit of what I'm not supposed to have

 -If it feels good, do it!

2.  Wandering Eyes

 -I keep looking at what I can't have, longing for it, thinking about it

 -I take my focus off of what I already have

3.  Prideful Heart

 -I'm unwilling to admit I'm wrong, and uninterested in confessing my weaknesses to others

 -I think I know better than God

How to enjoy a great marriage:  Genesis 2:18-25

Treat my spouse as my…

1.  Companion

-“it is not good for man to be alone

-what is a best friend?  Do those things!

2.  Helper

-complimentary roles, a team, mutually beneficial

Treat my spouse as my…

3.  Equal  “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh!”

-taken from his side, not his foot!  

-we walk alongside one another

-man and woman are both made in the image of God!

4.  Only

-we leave our family to form a new family unit

-bond:  cement, glue, each becomes part of the other

-my spouse is my exclusive partner in life for enjoyment

-fidelity is paramount to true happiness, peace and joy

5.  Confidant- the one I share all my secrets with

-physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually

Practical exercise:  “We”   vs.    “I”

Think about everything you do…

-is this activity something “We” have agreed on or “I” just want to do?

-is what I am about to do something my spouse is ok with?

Calendar- How I spend my time, where I go, what I do

Money- Do I swipe my card, spend my cash and make my deals with my spouse in mind?

Social Media- who do I connect with?  Does my spouse know everywhere I go online?

Remember:  We can’t do this on our own!

Philippians 4:13  I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

How to enjoy a great marriage

My next right steps…

1.  Practice Genesis 2:18-25

-Marriage 101 starting two weeks from tonight

2.  Practice “We”

3.  Trust Jesus

-Matthew 28:17  “some” didn’t  believe the resurrection

                            Even after they saw Jesus physically!

-You know Jesus makes a difference…will you trust in Him now?

Real Help for the Modern Family: Where to Begin

My message notes from Easter Sunday 2012...

Real Help for the Modern Family Part 1

The Beginning of Real Help

Intro:  Today begins a new series about family

-many family structures today:  traditional, single parents, divorced, his/hers/ours, grandparents raising grandkids, not married/no children, adult children caring for aging parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, and many other configurations

-modern and ancient families face the same challenges

-This series is about timeless principles for every type of family

Upcoming topics:

 April 15          Marriage

 April 22          Raising Kids

 April 29          Launching Kids/Empty Nest

 May 6             Dads

 May 13           Moms

 May 20           Grandparents/Adult Children

I visited Fort Recovery a few weeks ago…

-built after General Anthony Wayne recovered land and property that was tragically lost when General Sinclair was crushed by British and Indians. 

-I thought of all the forces that are waging war against the family

My Goal for this series=Recovery of Healthy Family!

The Beginning Of Real Help for the Modern Family

Mark 16:1-7

Is there an Empty Tomb or do we have an Empty Faith?

-1 Corinthians 15:17, 19

-If Jesus is alive, there is great hope, and our faith is rooted in truth

-If Jesus is still dead, we have no hope, and we might as well give up!

Real Help Right Now- Mark 16:1-7

1.  Start asking the right questions

-they were worried about moving the stone that was moved

-stop focusing on what you can’t answer, what may not matter

2.  Keep moving towards Jesus

-they kept going, found an empty tomb, eventually Jesus appeared!

-You may not know what it means to trust Jesus fully…

    Keep taking your next right step towards Jesus

3.  Believe in the impossible

-If Jesus can come back to life, He can help your family right now!

To be a healthy family we don’t have to…

-Know it all

-Be perfect

-Be strong enough

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is available now!

-Ephesians 2:4-10

But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By grace you are saved!

He also raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavens, in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace in [His] kindness to us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift- not from works, so that no one can boast.

For we are His creation-created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

The Beginning Of Real Help for the Modern Family

My next right step…

1.  Start asking the right questions-  keep coming to worship, seeking God's answers!

-we will discover principles for healthy family relationships

2.  Keep moving towards Jesus-  keep praying!

-we will learn what it means to really depend on Jesus and His church

3.  Believe in the impossible-  trust Jesus!

-we will seek to bring hope and healing

-I desire for us to move beyond the past and embrace a preferred future

    Under the power and influence of Jesus Christ

Will you trust Jesus today?